счастье во мне.
Benji: Have you seen Kid Rock's new beer commercial?
Joel: No.
Benji: It made me want to drink soda...
Joel: *stares blankly*
Benji: Was that funny?
Joel: No.
Joel: ...and this is from their '97 album, Nimrod.
Benji: Whoa! That's the year I graduated high school!
Joel: Yes it is.
Benji: *looks at camera* See, I told you guys I graduated!
Benji: Hey! You're watching All Things Rock, which is my show, and I'm Benji *looks at Joel* Aren't you glad I let you hang out sometimes?
Joel: So watch the VMA's, hosted by Jimmy Fallon.
Benji: My friend
Joel: You've never met him, you don't know him, he's not your friend.
Benji: Then that's my award.
Joel: No, it's not.
Benji: He's got these fake tattoos. I don't know if I'm down with that. Ya see, these aren't real.
Joel: Yeah, but he could....
Benji: Kick my ass? Yeah, I'm sure he could. (talking about Vin Diesel)
Benji: Change the channel and die. *smiles*
Joel: Hey, everyone, welcome back. I'm Joel and this is my brother Benji.
Benji: Yes, the rumors are true...we ARE related!
Joel: The guys in Chevelle say they're having second thoughts about their name, which was taken from the classic Chevy muscle car, the Chevy Chevelle, which I really love.
Benji: I like the Chevelle.
Joel: Now why would you question a name like Chevelle?
Benji: I don't know. Why?
Joel: A cool name like Chevelle, when it could be worse. You could have a band named after a children's book about a little girl. A book you never even read. A book like Good Charlotte. And then you have to answer all these questions about why, what's the significance of your name, when you really don't know, you were just fifteen and you named the band. And now you're bigger...
Benji: And you got a mohawk and tattoos and you're named after a little girl. It could be worse guys, Chevelle's an okay name.
Joel: Don't cry about it. It's all good.
Benji: *talking about the lead singer of the White Stripes* He says he doesn't have any ASSperations to become a big movie star.
Joel: He doesn't have any ASSperations?
Benji: No...*continues talking* I've got ASSperations.
Joel: You do???
Benji: of being like, one of those guys in the civil war movies that dies, like right away.
Joel: We're doing this spankin' new style this week.
Benji: 'Spankin' new style'???
Joel: Spankin' new, yo.
Benji: Word.
Joel: Word. So, anyway, we're here with--
Benji: Wait a minute, your'e not making fun of hip hop are you?
Joel: No...NO!!!
Benji: Good, 'cause I'll break you like a fool.
Joel: *talking about some video director*
Benji: He also directed Christina Aguliera's video for "Dirrty" The best video in the history of videos ever!!!...EVER!!!
Benji: You probably shouldn't punch the floor on stage while you're angry...*points to Joel* You should punch your brother, that's what brothers are for, you should hit your brother.
Joel: Well, I'm speechless...
*talking to the Halo Friendlies about bowling*
Benji: Do you like heavy balls?
Natalie: Medium...balls.
Joel: You know, kids, it's important when you bowl to use the right size balls. Ya know, the balls are really the most important part of the game.
Benji: Balls are important aren't they?
Natalie: They're very important....in the game.
Benji: They said the track was written about the overwhelming temptations of stardom.
Joel: I know I get overwhelmed.
Benji: You're not a star.
Joel: Oh, yeah....
Benji: *stops talking and listens to announcer in bowling alley* They just called for the ball boy, Joel
Joel: Gotta go! *walks off set*
Benji: *talking about his equipment* ...which you probably can't see 'cause of a lot of stains from fruits and tomatoes and other various items thrown at me while I'm on stage...
Joel: People hate you.
Benji: ...small children...midget parts...
Joel: People must really hate you.
Benji: I'm not a very loved man in this country am I?
Joel: I hope they play at my wedding.
Benji: They wont Joel, you'll never get married
Benji: Oh no! One of my spikes is falling! Hair people, I need gel pronto!!
Benji: ....and we actually met Hoobastank a few weeks ago we played the Ace Festival in D.C with them and i wanted to talk to the lead singer, and he would just run away, he looked scared and at the end of the night i cornered him and i said "Why are you always running away, man??"
Joel: It's a BAD joke, I'm really sorry about that, kid's out there, sorry about him..i apologize
Benji: Hey I came up with that all by myself
Joel: Anyways..these guys Hoobstank...
Benji: Running away..running away..
Joel: all right, give it up, quiet. anyways these guys hoobastank....
Joel: The Hives are gaining a great fan following in Australia and...
Benji: The Hives? Australia? Dude, The Hives are from Sweden.
Joel: The Hives? *has a confused look on his face*
Benji: They're From Sweden!
Benji: (talking about people requesting a song a lot) Which means Joel here has been spending a lot of time on his laptop. A-HA! (total fake laugh)
Joel: Shut up.
Benji: (responding to a post) I just want to say that if I was on the message board, if I do post, my name would be a lot cooler than All Things Benji. Sorry, its not me.
Joel: Once again, people are surfing the net on someone else's......
Benji and Joel: Someone else's surfboard. (both look at each other and laugh....total twin moment)
Joel: Well my grandmother is a big fan of Good Charlotte. We're for the grannies.
Benji: My grandma watches the show so Hi Grandma! I e-mail with her.
Joel: Hi Grandma, We love you!!! *both wave*
Joel: Let's dedicate the next video to our grandma.
Joel: (speaking to the band Quarashi) Do you guys ever get tired of Benj trying to sleep on your bus?
Quarashi: Sometimes
Joel: It gets old, I know, I have to be on the bus with him.
Benji: Hey! What can I say? I'm a fan.
Joel: We'll still be on the Warped Tour.
Benji: Still having not showered for weeks.
Joel: Weeks on end.
Benji: *lifts up his arm and stiffs his armpit, makes a disgusted face*
Benji: *in valley girl voice* The last video of the night comes from the White Stripes and I think it's rally good!
Joel: Cool...umm *laughs* yeah..
Benji: You like em too? We listen to it when we drive. It's rally good.
Joel: Well you can go to mtv.com, you can go to the message board there..
Benji: Don't forget to do that.
Joel: OR you could go to goodcharlotte.com, there's a message board there too!
Benji: Hey GC kids. *waves*
Joel: Every band dreams of that....I know our band does; we have a platinum record!
Benji: We've got platinum teeth man, sup wit that?!
Benji: *reading a post* We also agree that Benji is the best host.
Joel: *actually believes it says that and looks at paper*
Benji: You know, if one kid bought a record for every one kid that said I suck..that'd be a lot of platinum records, man!
Benji: Yes, it's the greatest one hour of tv you'll ever see!
Joel: Go to the MTV All Things Rock message board.
Benji: And tell me how great I am!
Benji: Graffiti's good kids. Get out there!
Benji: Well, let's take a look at Papa Roach's She Loves Me Not, and Joel...please don't sing along.
Joel: WORD!
(All Things Rock with New Found Glory)
Joel: I told you we knew NFG! I told you!
Benji: We weren't lying.
Chad: See this is what its all about...*shakes Joel's hand and gives Benji a hug, Chad's about a foot taller than Benji, he looks like a little boy hugging his dad*
Benji: This next video reminds me of my brother Joel.... he used to walk around the house all the time.... always rockin the short shorts.
Benji: I remember when we called Limp Bizkit to produce our video, he never called us back. I auditioned for guitarist, he never called back. I called his mom, he never called back.
Joel: I got a red hat.
Benji: This video was shot in an old theatre... .that's where Joel lives, in a dirty old theatre....Get outta here kids!
Benji: Up next we've got a video from Andrew W.K. You know, the mystery surrounding Andrew W.K. is what does the 'W.K.' stand for?
Joel: Everyone wants to know.
Benji: Who knows?
Joel: Who cares?
Benji: Where's Korn?
Joel: What kind of name is it?
Benji: William.....K.....*thinks about it* .....k...k!
Joel: Who knows? Well, you know what? It actually doesn't stand for any of those. It actually just stands for Wilkes Krier. That's his last name.
Benji: Sorry to disappoint you, but if you want to come up with your own little meaning, go ahead, go ahead, I'm sure we'll see it on the All Things Rock message board....
Joel: (reading post) This post comes from GCChick20.
Benji: Joel's old screen name!
Benji: Before we get into the next video, Joel here's going to read a post from the All Things Rock message board.
Joel: That's right, this post is coming from lilbubbles009. Good, good screen name, I really like it.
Benji: Yeah, it's great.
Joel: This is questions for boys, so all you boys out there listen up and you can answer along. I'm going to read these to Benj and he's going to answer. So, uh, number one. Why don't boys like girls with glasses?
Benji: Can't see well.
Joel: Uh, why don't boys like girls who are short?
Benji: Not tall enough.
Joel: Uh, what about girls who are quiet?
Benji: Can't hear 'em.
Joel: If you had to be stranded on a deserted island for the rest of your life, would you take a Playboy Playmate or the Time Magazine Woman of the Year?
Benji: Neither, I'd take a guy named Joe.
Joel: (both smirk) Piercings or no?
Benji: Uh...yeah, sure.
Joel: Hoochie or punk?
Benji: Um, hoochie. No, punk. No, hoochie? Hoochie? No, punk. *has an undecided look on his face*
Joel: Well, there you go, there you go, there you go lilbubble, I hope that answered all your questions.....
Benji: "I like rockstardom. You can have girls flash you for free and have girls actually want to make out with you. But then again some guys want to make out with Joel"
Joel: "Yea.. I am the man's man. Benji, you're the lama's man"
Benji: "Maybe so, but I get more action than you do"
Joel: "Actually you don't because as far as I will tell anyone, we are both still virgins and probably will be until our twelve-year-old fans become 18 and meet us when we are like 29"
Benji: "Hey girls, in six years I will be free so come propose anytime so I can lose my big V"
Joel: "Uhh.. I think they'd be more experienced than you"
Benji: "I doubt it. I have a blow up doll and you"
Joel: "Dude.. that was wrong"
Benji: "But so VERY true" (fake laughs)
Joel: "Uhh.. no"
(both argue and keep saying yes no yes no yes no)
Joel: No.
Benji: It made me want to drink soda...
Joel: *stares blankly*
Benji: Was that funny?
Joel: No.
Joel: ...and this is from their '97 album, Nimrod.
Benji: Whoa! That's the year I graduated high school!
Joel: Yes it is.
Benji: *looks at camera* See, I told you guys I graduated!
Benji: Hey! You're watching All Things Rock, which is my show, and I'm Benji *looks at Joel* Aren't you glad I let you hang out sometimes?
Joel: So watch the VMA's, hosted by Jimmy Fallon.
Benji: My friend
Joel: You've never met him, you don't know him, he's not your friend.
Benji: Then that's my award.
Joel: No, it's not.
Benji: He's got these fake tattoos. I don't know if I'm down with that. Ya see, these aren't real.
Joel: Yeah, but he could....
Benji: Kick my ass? Yeah, I'm sure he could. (talking about Vin Diesel)
Benji: Change the channel and die. *smiles*
Joel: Hey, everyone, welcome back. I'm Joel and this is my brother Benji.
Benji: Yes, the rumors are true...we ARE related!
Joel: The guys in Chevelle say they're having second thoughts about their name, which was taken from the classic Chevy muscle car, the Chevy Chevelle, which I really love.
Benji: I like the Chevelle.
Joel: Now why would you question a name like Chevelle?
Benji: I don't know. Why?
Joel: A cool name like Chevelle, when it could be worse. You could have a band named after a children's book about a little girl. A book you never even read. A book like Good Charlotte. And then you have to answer all these questions about why, what's the significance of your name, when you really don't know, you were just fifteen and you named the band. And now you're bigger...
Benji: And you got a mohawk and tattoos and you're named after a little girl. It could be worse guys, Chevelle's an okay name.
Joel: Don't cry about it. It's all good.
Benji: *talking about the lead singer of the White Stripes* He says he doesn't have any ASSperations to become a big movie star.
Joel: He doesn't have any ASSperations?
Benji: No...*continues talking* I've got ASSperations.
Joel: You do???
Benji: of being like, one of those guys in the civil war movies that dies, like right away.
Joel: We're doing this spankin' new style this week.
Benji: 'Spankin' new style'???
Joel: Spankin' new, yo.
Benji: Word.
Joel: Word. So, anyway, we're here with--
Benji: Wait a minute, your'e not making fun of hip hop are you?
Joel: No...NO!!!
Benji: Good, 'cause I'll break you like a fool.
Joel: *talking about some video director*
Benji: He also directed Christina Aguliera's video for "Dirrty" The best video in the history of videos ever!!!...EVER!!!
Benji: You probably shouldn't punch the floor on stage while you're angry...*points to Joel* You should punch your brother, that's what brothers are for, you should hit your brother.
Joel: Well, I'm speechless...
*talking to the Halo Friendlies about bowling*
Benji: Do you like heavy balls?
Natalie: Medium...balls.
Joel: You know, kids, it's important when you bowl to use the right size balls. Ya know, the balls are really the most important part of the game.
Benji: Balls are important aren't they?
Natalie: They're very important....in the game.
Benji: They said the track was written about the overwhelming temptations of stardom.
Joel: I know I get overwhelmed.
Benji: You're not a star.
Joel: Oh, yeah....
Benji: *stops talking and listens to announcer in bowling alley* They just called for the ball boy, Joel
Joel: Gotta go! *walks off set*
Benji: *talking about his equipment* ...which you probably can't see 'cause of a lot of stains from fruits and tomatoes and other various items thrown at me while I'm on stage...
Joel: People hate you.
Benji: ...small children...midget parts...
Joel: People must really hate you.
Benji: I'm not a very loved man in this country am I?
Joel: I hope they play at my wedding.
Benji: They wont Joel, you'll never get married
Benji: Oh no! One of my spikes is falling! Hair people, I need gel pronto!!
Benji: ....and we actually met Hoobastank a few weeks ago we played the Ace Festival in D.C with them and i wanted to talk to the lead singer, and he would just run away, he looked scared and at the end of the night i cornered him and i said "Why are you always running away, man??"
Joel: It's a BAD joke, I'm really sorry about that, kid's out there, sorry about him..i apologize
Benji: Hey I came up with that all by myself
Joel: Anyways..these guys Hoobstank...
Benji: Running away..running away..
Joel: all right, give it up, quiet. anyways these guys hoobastank....
Joel: The Hives are gaining a great fan following in Australia and...
Benji: The Hives? Australia? Dude, The Hives are from Sweden.
Joel: The Hives? *has a confused look on his face*
Benji: They're From Sweden!
Benji: (talking about people requesting a song a lot) Which means Joel here has been spending a lot of time on his laptop. A-HA! (total fake laugh)
Joel: Shut up.
Benji: (responding to a post) I just want to say that if I was on the message board, if I do post, my name would be a lot cooler than All Things Benji. Sorry, its not me.
Joel: Once again, people are surfing the net on someone else's......
Benji and Joel: Someone else's surfboard. (both look at each other and laugh....total twin moment)
Joel: Well my grandmother is a big fan of Good Charlotte. We're for the grannies.
Benji: My grandma watches the show so Hi Grandma! I e-mail with her.
Joel: Hi Grandma, We love you!!! *both wave*
Joel: Let's dedicate the next video to our grandma.
Joel: (speaking to the band Quarashi) Do you guys ever get tired of Benj trying to sleep on your bus?
Quarashi: Sometimes
Joel: It gets old, I know, I have to be on the bus with him.
Benji: Hey! What can I say? I'm a fan.
Joel: We'll still be on the Warped Tour.
Benji: Still having not showered for weeks.
Joel: Weeks on end.
Benji: *lifts up his arm and stiffs his armpit, makes a disgusted face*
Benji: *in valley girl voice* The last video of the night comes from the White Stripes and I think it's rally good!
Joel: Cool...umm *laughs* yeah..
Benji: You like em too? We listen to it when we drive. It's rally good.
Joel: Well you can go to mtv.com, you can go to the message board there..
Benji: Don't forget to do that.
Joel: OR you could go to goodcharlotte.com, there's a message board there too!
Benji: Hey GC kids. *waves*
Joel: Every band dreams of that....I know our band does; we have a platinum record!
Benji: We've got platinum teeth man, sup wit that?!
Benji: *reading a post* We also agree that Benji is the best host.
Joel: *actually believes it says that and looks at paper*
Benji: You know, if one kid bought a record for every one kid that said I suck..that'd be a lot of platinum records, man!
Benji: Yes, it's the greatest one hour of tv you'll ever see!
Joel: Go to the MTV All Things Rock message board.
Benji: And tell me how great I am!
Benji: Graffiti's good kids. Get out there!
Benji: Well, let's take a look at Papa Roach's She Loves Me Not, and Joel...please don't sing along.
Joel: WORD!
(All Things Rock with New Found Glory)
Joel: I told you we knew NFG! I told you!
Benji: We weren't lying.
Chad: See this is what its all about...*shakes Joel's hand and gives Benji a hug, Chad's about a foot taller than Benji, he looks like a little boy hugging his dad*
Benji: This next video reminds me of my brother Joel.... he used to walk around the house all the time.... always rockin the short shorts.
Benji: I remember when we called Limp Bizkit to produce our video, he never called us back. I auditioned for guitarist, he never called back. I called his mom, he never called back.
Joel: I got a red hat.
Benji: This video was shot in an old theatre... .that's where Joel lives, in a dirty old theatre....Get outta here kids!
Benji: Up next we've got a video from Andrew W.K. You know, the mystery surrounding Andrew W.K. is what does the 'W.K.' stand for?
Joel: Everyone wants to know.
Benji: Who knows?
Joel: Who cares?
Benji: Where's Korn?
Joel: What kind of name is it?
Benji: William.....K.....*thinks about it* .....k...k!
Joel: Who knows? Well, you know what? It actually doesn't stand for any of those. It actually just stands for Wilkes Krier. That's his last name.
Benji: Sorry to disappoint you, but if you want to come up with your own little meaning, go ahead, go ahead, I'm sure we'll see it on the All Things Rock message board....
Joel: (reading post) This post comes from GCChick20.
Benji: Joel's old screen name!
Benji: Before we get into the next video, Joel here's going to read a post from the All Things Rock message board.
Joel: That's right, this post is coming from lilbubbles009. Good, good screen name, I really like it.
Benji: Yeah, it's great.
Joel: This is questions for boys, so all you boys out there listen up and you can answer along. I'm going to read these to Benj and he's going to answer. So, uh, number one. Why don't boys like girls with glasses?
Benji: Can't see well.
Joel: Uh, why don't boys like girls who are short?
Benji: Not tall enough.
Joel: Uh, what about girls who are quiet?
Benji: Can't hear 'em.
Joel: If you had to be stranded on a deserted island for the rest of your life, would you take a Playboy Playmate or the Time Magazine Woman of the Year?
Benji: Neither, I'd take a guy named Joe.
Joel: (both smirk) Piercings or no?
Benji: Uh...yeah, sure.
Joel: Hoochie or punk?
Benji: Um, hoochie. No, punk. No, hoochie? Hoochie? No, punk. *has an undecided look on his face*
Joel: Well, there you go, there you go, there you go lilbubble, I hope that answered all your questions.....
Benji: "I like rockstardom. You can have girls flash you for free and have girls actually want to make out with you. But then again some guys want to make out with Joel"
Joel: "Yea.. I am the man's man. Benji, you're the lama's man"
Benji: "Maybe so, but I get more action than you do"
Joel: "Actually you don't because as far as I will tell anyone, we are both still virgins and probably will be until our twelve-year-old fans become 18 and meet us when we are like 29"
Benji: "Hey girls, in six years I will be free so come propose anytime so I can lose my big V"
Joel: "Uhh.. I think they'd be more experienced than you"
Benji: "I doubt it. I have a blow up doll and you"
Joel: "Dude.. that was wrong"
Benji: "But so VERY true" (fake laughs)
Joel: "Uhh.. no"
(both argue and keep saying yes no yes no yes no)
